AUTHOR: Sara TITLE: I Was Not Pregnant When . . . DATE: 4/08/2005 09:47:00 PM ----- BODY:

The radio show I listen to in the mornings had a little discussion yesterday about how pregnant women supposedly have these "moments of psychosis" and become crazy about the smallest thing, almost like a bad bout of PMS. If you had a child and have not had this happen to you, stop cursing me. It is not like I am speaking from experience or anything here. Anyway, as much as I have an aversion to pregnancy-stories, I was captivated by the humor in the callers. Women kept calling in and starting their story, "I was pregnant when . . . " Finish with "I chased my husband around the house with a knife" or "I nearly ran over him in my car when he wouldn't stop at Winchells" type of conversations. So, I am not pouting, but I figured we could have our own conversation. Let's just start each story, "I was NOT pregnant when . . ." Maybe it will make us feel important or something. So, I was not pregnant when I drank a big, fat bottle of wine last night. It was a Firestone Winery Desert Wine and then when I finished, I ate two bowls of ice cream. I was not pregnant when I ordered a Grande Vanilla Latte this morning that was possibly one of the best things I have ever tasted. (okay, so I have not had a coffee in about a month . . ) Lastly, I was not pregnant when I had a dream last night (another bug dream) that this huge, green caterpillar was inching its way across my bed. According to this, it means I am jealous. Hmmm . . what could I possibly be jealous of??

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