AUTHOR: Sara TITLE: Rumors DATE: 2/04/2005 08:54:00 PM ----- BODY:

I threw up on Wednesday. It was not a spectacular event, but it was worthy of some respect. My fourth graders had another national proficiency test beginning that morning. Thankfully, our school counselor was proctoring my room. Just a few minutes after they began the test, it hit me like a truck. I quietly excused myself and ran mock ten down the hall to the (one and only) teacher restroom, where I hurled like it was going out of style. So, guess how many people stuck their head in my room yesterday and today with that look . . . that "is there something you want to tell me??" look. I even had a few, "Well, I heard you were sick yesterday! Is this good news?" This is why I don't eat in the faculty lounge. When I can't hurl because my coffee was too strong, due to the fact that I had been erasing it out of my diet because I thought I might be pregnant, which was really stupid on my part - why deny myself? - like I said, when I can't hurl in privacy, there is a problem! Now the rumors have begun. I actually yelled at the last teacher who breached my room today after school, wanting to "get the goods" on my vomitous moment. J: "So, Sara! I heard the good news! You were sick on Wednesday! Is this what we all presume it is??" Me: (growling) "No, J. I drank too much coffee." J: "Well, you knnow you really shouldn't drink coffee when you could be pregnant. When I was pregnant with my last son, the doctor told me . . . -" *I will skip my response, which was full of lovely explicatives and phrases like "not fucking pregnant" and "leave your fucking past successful pregnancies out of this". Oh, the joy of co-workers.

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